Tap Knocks

There are always students connected to a campus ministry that are connected to the ministry in a marginal way. Some students come only to free lunch. Some come to free lunch and Thursday worship. Some come to both and are involved in small groups. Some do all of these things and also serve and reach out to their friends.

Some come to lunch once every now and then-and that is their level of connectivity to BSM. They have reasons: Some really do have very hectic schedules, taking a full load and holding down a job to make it through school. Some really are serious students who are spinning a lot of plates trying to stay in school. Some are spiritually curious, but not ready to commit to anything. Some intend to, but get distracted...others are torn between two worlds. If you are in ministry-you know what I mean. Everyone's story is unique. Every person is important.

How we respond to the "fringe" people (I hate that term-it devalues the individua...but for lack of a better term...) is so important. Sometimes we send a message (in our best Leonidas, Spartan King Voice): "Commit or go home! Invest! Buck Up! Be Strong! Youre either In or Out! This...is...BSM!" (or fill in the blank of your ministry). Or, we play the passive aggressive game-withholding love and concern until the person "puts us...errr, "God," first. We give the cold shoulder. Or, we take the cavalier approach: We're growing, out of sight, out of mind.

But with each of these people, there are hurts and pains and real issues. These lives matter.

One of the more interesting things God has done in my life the past year and a half has been to reshape my thoughts on ministry. Twenty two years as a youth minister, church planter and pastor-I had twenty two years worth of perspective from one side of the pulpit. Now that I am on the other side, I've learned there are things I would do differently, things I am doing differently now when it comes to ministry.

One thing: Never give up. Reach out. Continue to reach out. Pursue. God is the One who pursues, who loves. We should be the same. One thing I've tried to do (and still have a way to go), is to send emails make phone calls to kids I don't see often. Just reminders that I am aware of them and that they matter. Some kids-well, there may be twenty or so that I've been dropping lines to for over a year. Every now and then I am surprised by a "thank you," or a call, or an email asking a question. I'm glad God doesn't give up on us. I don't think we should be giving up on others. We must pursue in love.

Sometimes we do a bad job of that. We talk a lot about grace, but we who have received so much of it are often, tragically, the ones least likely to show it. We have our reasons: Accountability, commitment, and many other terms-but a lot of times it's a failure to love that allows people to slip through cracks. We don't pursue-we don't try to meet people at their point of need. We're pretty good at "Peace, be well," and then going about our business while others struggle.

What does this have to do with BSM? With a young man named Tap? A lot.

Tap is one of those sporadic lunch attendees. He's a great kid. Sometimes he seems as if his soul is heavy or old. Tender hearted kid. He's lost two friends in the past year. One, a friend in Washington D.C., walking home at the wrong time. Drive by shooting intended to take out a rival gang member...his friend was just walking home. This year, another friend, hit by a drunk driver. Dead.

Tap carries these things around with him. He's also torn between two worlds. He knows Christ, just struggling right now. He gets my "how are you doing, missed you today" emails. He replies sometimes. When he sees me on campus, he gives me a hug. Good kid. But there's always the sense that while he might want to connect with God and with BSM on a deeper and more meaningful level, something is holding him back. He has told me before, "I feel guilty when I miss lunch...hard to come back the next week...feel like I let you down..." For Tap, I think this mindset is a part of the problem. Somewhere along the way in life, he must have been told by someone that Christians love on some kind of conditional basis or something. I have to reaffirm to him that he's always loved. Anything I can do for him-I will do. I think he wants to believe it. Maybe he's been burned before. I don't know.

I do know he called today. He has things going on in life and wants to talk. It would be easy to say, "Tap...My vacation time starts Monday. It's Saturday. Tomorrow is Sunday-family time...let's do this Jan 12 or so when school resumes." But I can't do that. God doesn't operate off my calendar.

Pray for Tap. Pray for me, please. We are supposed to meet either Sunday afternoon or Monday afternoon. The tone in his voice tells me it's serious and important to him-and thankfully, he's going to be O.K. between now and then-whatever he's dealing with.

The point? Love. Love fiercely. Pursue. Don't give up. When your "Tap" knocks on your door-be there. These are the moments we look back on as a "God Thing." Don't miss the blessing.