Rarely do you get the opportunity to see the other side of the story when it comes to the homeless. By that, I mean the stories of those who come off the streets, enter into programs, and are preparing to re-enter society. Hope Gardens is this amazing transitional community on the outskirts of LA, hidden in the mountains, off the beaten path...a place where women and their children are able to stay, receive job training (many are already working in jobs, saving money to get back on their feet so they can afford housing) and experience things you and I take for granted.
In Los Angeles, a woman on the streets has a greater than 80% chance of being assaulted if she is on the streets for two weeks. Union Rescue focuses on getting women and children off the streets. But it's not just getting them off the streets, it is protecting them (many wind up on the streets running for safety from abusive males), nurturing them, preparing them to re-enter society, and above all, protecting the children.
Our initial assignment was to tutor students. We were running on little sleep, little steam left after a couple of hours sleep the night before and working at Union in the morning. Our job description changed, however, and we discovered that we would be doing manual labor. Hope Gardens was going to remodel and repair some things, and they needed the help. So, being flexible, the students said, "Sure, whatever you need."
We were broken into two groups. I was in the "clean out the kitchen" crew-and the others were cleaning out a large storage shed. A crew from John Tesh productions was there. I was introduced to the two men and was told they were shooting a story about Hope Gardens. We never saw them after that-because we weren't the story. The story is Hope Gardens and the women and children who stay there (approximately 80) and what God is doing in that place.
So, for several hours we scrubbed floors, cleaned cabinets, moved buckets of paint, moved whatever they wanted...good old fashioned manual labor.
The highlight of the day came at dinner. We were able to eat with the women and their children. Such precious kids. They never chose this life. Never chose the streets. But the time on Skid Row will always be a part of their story, just as the Grace of God will forever be a part of their story, as Hope Gardens will be a part of their story.
At dinner there was a Birthday celebration for one young girl. I tried to imagine what life was like for this mother and her children on the streets. I thought of my own children, my own wife, and couldn't imagine them going through that.
I was at the end of the food line and watched as our students (always proud of them) broke into groups to sit with various families-to listen to their stories, to pray with and for them, to talk about God with them...they made friends quickly. I credit that to God working in their lives and giving them a love for people not like them. When it was time for me to get my food, there was only one table without a student, so I went to that table. Two African American women were at the table with their children. One was leaving as soon as I asked if I could sit down (and I wondered, "do I have this effect on people or was this just awkward timing?"). The one staying, Desiree, said, 'Sure, have a seat," and then proceeded to introduce herself and her son.
Desiree didn't 'look' like a homeless person-didn't 'sound' like a person who was on the streets. In fact-most of these women looked like anyone you might meet at the grocery store or any place else you frequent. I know this sounds like I'm stereotyping, but that's the point-these women did not fit a preconceived 'mold'-and their stories are all stories of triumph.
I tried to engage her son in conversation-he was rather quiet and reserved. I imagined he was probably wary of strangers-and for good reason. I tried multiple times and multiple ways to engage him, but little response, until I asked about sports.
Marcus, who is thirteen years old, loves basketball. Once that topic came up, he opened up a bit-but not much. His mother explained he doesn't talk a lot to most people-just her and some of his friends at Hope Gardens. I wondered what Marcus had seen. What had happened in his life.
I wondered about Desiree's story. It's the elephant in the room-you want to find out her story so you can find out about her relationship with God and what she's been through-how to pray for her-that kind of thing. And...she knows that I know she was homeless, but bringing the whole thing up is a bit challenging.
We made small talk. She was originally from New York City. She tells me she loves New York. She's wearing a rather artsy I LOVE NY T-Shirt-just to underscore that NYC is her true home. She said: "New York is so alive, so full of life and excitement-so much to see there. The people are real...not like here..." She has family in Queens. She wants to go back sometime soon after she transitions after Hope Gardens to go back to family and work there.
She asks me where I'm from. I tell her "San Antonio" and she asks what it's like there-and asks if the people are friendly, asks if there is much to do in San Antonio. I tell her not nearly as much to do as New York, but the city is friendly.
She knows about the Riverwalk and tells me "that's one place on my list of places I have to see. But I really, really want to go to Europe. France particularly. Paris specifically." She's a vivacious person and her face is lighting up as she tells about her dreams. 'Want to go to Paris, but also London, and of course Spain...I could probably live in Paris, never come back..."
Of course, I have other questions-things I'd like to know. This woman looks and talks like someone who might be in a position of management at some successful company...How did she get to the streets of LA from NYC? She continues to talk...
"Well, I miss New York, but it's O.K. here. It's a lot better than Phoenix."
I can tell by the way she pronounces Phoenix that Phoenix is a sore spot.
"How did you get to Phoenix from New York?"
"Job transfer."
"Why didn't you like Phoenix?"
"Hot place, cold people." She didn't skip a beat. Obviously Phoenix was not a pleasant memory. I don't think that was a 'stock answer' from her-she's a sharp person with a sharp mind. Great quote.
I am just at a loss for how she wound up...here.
She continued..."So, I didn't like Phoenix, but I met this man...." She looks at her son, Marcus, who, still being quiet, somewhat lowers his head
"And...I made some bad choices. Those choices led me to Los Angeles. Those choices led me and him to the streets. They led us here. I won't make any excuses. I was wrong and we paid for my choices."
It's hard to know what to say at this point. I wanted to know her story, wondering where to start, and she just bypassed that process and started sharing.
"But God has been good to us and we are getting a new start. It's not perfect here, but my son is safe and I am safe and we're getting back on our feet. That's the main thing. He is my responsibility and nothing like that is ever going to happen to him again."
I don't know what 'that' is-but I do notice that Marcus raises his head slightly and looks at his mom with a sense of...trust? belief? ...hoping that it never does happen again? I can't tell. I do not get the sense I should ask what 'that' was. Desiree is largely an open book and if she wanted me to know that information, she would have told me. I leave well enough alone.
She's said enough already, more than most would say, and she's taken ownership of whatever these decisions were, and shares how God has changed her life.
She tells me about a discipleship class she went through that God used to really transform her. She talks of God and Gospel and new beginnings. This woman who has been through, well, I don't know all the details but I know she's been through a lot, and yet she radiates. She is ready to move forward.
I tell her that I am glad she and Marcus are safe at Hope Gardens. I ask her if I can pray for her and Marcus, and if so, how should I pray?
She is direct, as New Yorkers are prone to be: "Pray that I will continue to follow Christ as I should. That young man (pointing to Marcus) is my life, my responsibility, and I don't ever want to fail him again."
I start to say, "O.K., let's pray" but she continues...
"You see, I just want to see places, go places, I'm a free spirit. But it's that free spirit that got me into this mess. I just need to stay focused for him (pointing to Marcus again)-because he deserves that. Once he goes off to college (she's already sure he'll go to college) and once he's on his own, I want to take off and just go. I don't do well staying in one place very long."
And I start to understand more of the story-and the prayer request. I don't know if Marcus was 'planned' or not. I don't know if Marcus ever had a father figure in his life. I do know that it took this horrific experience, making a series of bad decisions, losing her job, winding up on the streets of LA for Desiree to rethink her free spirited ways and start living for more than the moment-but rather for someone else, someone she loves deeply, and who loves her deeply, her son.
There is this moment of silence. She looks at me as if to say, "Pray that I am the woman God wants me to be...because I know my shadow side."
We all have a shadow side-that default mode we would shift into were it not for the grace of God. She is aware hers.
I look at Marcus, wondering how he's taking all this in, his mom so transparent about everything right there in front of him to a complete stranger. Marcus says, "And thank God for us being safe."
So we pray. Handshakes are exchanged. She has to get Marcus back to the room-he has homework. She has things to do as well, responsibilities.
Before she leaves, she asks me, 'Did you hear about what happened here in December? With the wildfires?"
I had heard the story from Susana, the operations manager at Hope Gardens, but wanted to hear Desirees take. So I just listen.
"Yeah, when the wildfires were all over these mountains, everything was burned. Everything. People losing their houses. Losing everything. They evacuated us. I thought, Lord no...don't want to lose everything again...but the craziest thing happened. Everything on this side of the mountain was burned except this place. The fire stopped at the gates. The firemen set up here and they said the winds shifted. Not one thing was burned at this place. Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?"
I tell her God was very gracious to everyone at Hope Gardens. She tells me she knows, and has been very gracious to her many times since she came to LA. And with that, she leaves.
It's hard to get Desiree and Marcus out of my mind. In about eight months or so she'll be 'free' -just her and Marcus on their own. I wonder if she'll honor that commitment to him. I wonder if she'll make wise choices. I wonder if Marcus will go to college? I wonder if the cycle will be broken? I wonder if in ten years Desiree will be living in Paris, doing some kind of work, or if she'll be back with family in New York-or, I wonder if she will make 'that' bad decision again? I pray not.
And I'll never know on this side of eternity. But I do know, that for a moment in time, I met someone who had a life, lost it all, took responsibility for it, and was looking to God to put all the pieces back together again. I met someone who stopped dreaming and was dreaming again. I met someone who was once on the streets with her son and was now talking about her son going to college. I met someone who had committed her life to Christ-and had made a fresh commitment to put the needs of her son first.
And I met a young man who I am sure is hoping and praying that everything his mother talked about is true.
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